Everyone dreams of that special woman who will one day make their life a seamless breeze. If you’re like most men, this woman is younger, sexy and of course not yet a mother (especially if you’re young too with no kids of your own.) With such imaginations no wonder college girls are so popular. All men prefer these college girls as dating partners. Rarely do they consider single moms dating. But as we’re about to find out, they’re missing out on a goldmine. A group of people underrated by the society and themselves.
But first things first. In an uncertain universe, there’s a way of thinking that can save you a lot from making future mistakes. It applies to all walks of life and this is not an exception.
Probabilistic way of thinking.
The most reliable way to differentiate an amateur from the pro in any gambling endeavor is finding out whether your target has any idea what “expected value” means. If they have no idea, you’ve got yourself an amateur. And amateurs lose money.
So, what is expected value? It’s the anticipated value of a future investment. A positive expected value is what you need. A negative expected value is what you run away from. In other words if you bought a house at the market price of $250,000, the chances of this house being valued more in the future are slim.
But if you bought the same house below the market price at $190,000, it means that in most cases you’ll make a profit on this house if you decide to sell it in future. So, the latter has a positive expected value while the former has a negative expected value.
What does this have to do with women? Simple, this has to do with everything in life since none of us can predict the future behavior of people or markets with accuracy. To make sure you end up on the winning side, you make decisions based on expected value. Let’s apply it to women and see what happens.
Take the example of college girls. The society overrates them. They overrate themselves. These girls are so high maintenance that few men can keep up with this bubble. But normally these men don’t think in terms of expected value. If they did, they would recognize that by dating a college girl (with a few rare exceptions), you’re not different from the guy who bought the house at $250,000 dollars. Because no matter what happens in future, you can’t expect finding more value than you had anticipated in a college girl. But with a single mom, given the society influence on your psyche about her, the chances of finding more value than you anticipated are many.
Why single moms are like oil in the 60s?
- Underrated by society and themselves.
Before a woman has a child, every man worships her. If she’s so sexy and beautiful even her fellow women can’t help it. For a certain period of time, the world is her oyster. She gets whatever she wants. Then she gets a kid or two. And the worst happens, she gets dropped or drops the father of her kids. Now she’s referred to as a single mother.
For some reason now, she’s under looked by the same people who thought she was an angel. The society looks at her as an underachiever. To make matters worse, she now underrates herself too. But why is it so?
- Now that she has a kid, everyone knows for sure she has slept with someone else. She’s not as mysterious as she used to be. That’s how we roll.
- With a kid, few men are going to want to be with her or so she thinks. So, she begins acting out on that assumption.
- Because taking care of kids alone is really hard (especially if their father doesn’t give a damn), most men think that this single mom will put most of the burden on them.
But as we’re about to find out (except in a few scenarios), she’s just as wrong as the rest of society. There’s a lot more upside to single moms dating than you can imagine.
- Single moms have more relationship experience.
For most girls, the world looks black and white. They have a picture of the kind of man they want to marry in future. They know which kind of kids they’ll have. To them, the world they imagine doesn’t differ so much from the world they’ll live in. And this remains the case until they learn first-hand how brutal the world can be. Before they know it, they have kids fathered by a man who leaves them to find “greener pastures”.
With time and experience they begin understanding and embracing how hard things can be. How unpredictable the world can be. In simple terms, slowly by slowly, they see the world for what it really is, a beautiful and ugly place.
And this is to the benefit of the next man she meets. All those unnecessary expectations will be thrown out of the window. All those unrealistic demands will be left in her previous relationships. If she’s smart, she has now learned from her experiences. She knows better how the mind of a man works and what to expect from him.
When you date single moms, this is what you’ll be witnessing. Even though the rest of society has no idea.
- They’re much more in sync with reality.
Before you came into her life, because she was beautiful and sexy, she expected a man who will meet her incredibly high standards. But high standards are high for a reason, very few people meet them. Eventually she finds someone good enough but her unrealistic personality eventually makes him leave too. The problem is she now has kids too.
From her own personal story and those of her close friends, she finds out how unrealistic she was. The previous high standards she needed out of men seem like a joke now. The idea of a 26-year-old man buying her a mansion now seems more of an exception than the norm.
With kids, the society will look down on this once treasured hell of a woman (the exception being celebrities). But if you can find a woman like that, tired of all the games, fed up of the loneliness, you might just get yourself an incredible woman.
- Low maintenance.
I know she has kids but trust me when I say she will try as much as she can not to irritate you with would-be another man’s responsibilities. The last thing she’ll do is to make another man get reasons to leave her.
Besides a few expenditures, you won’t be bothered by her for the most part. She’ll focus more on the relationship. Your well-being and comfort will be a top priority for her. Unlike college girls who expect you to meet each and every need of theirs yet even the sex is mediocre at best.
The only drawback here is that once you fall in love with her, you’ll bond with her kids and chances are high that you won’t have any problem taking care of them.
- They’re quite many.
You heard me right. Most girls like having kids before “it’s too late”. To them, you’re better off having kids before you hit the 30s. But then things don’t turn out like they expected. They separate from their “love of my life”. And before they know it, they’re single moms. At the end of the day, you have quite a good number of women who are single moms.
Think about it, you have so many possible dates waiting for you. The kind that other men are so blinded to look at. Instead of focusing on the overrated young girls, single moms dating offers you the opportunity to sail in incredible waters that are not overcrowded. Maaaan, think about that.
- Less interested in marriage or permanent relationships.
Most women settle down with men, not because they love them so much per se. But because they want to experience the feeling of getting married and ESPECIALLY to have kids. To them, you’re more or less useless as a woman if you don’t have kids. A few years down the road, she has kids she wanted and if lucky, she experienced the marriage ceremonies the way she always dreamt.
Then what. Then nothing. Reality sets in. And before she knows it, she is masquerading as a single mom.
The next time she has a relationship. Marriage and kids will be the last things on her mind. The kids she has. Marriage, tick. So, she does what she must have done in the beginning, dates people with the sole purpose of having a good time. With no goal in sight. Just enjoying herself today without worrying about what will happen tomorrow.
If you’re the kind of guy who gets suffocated by the idea of permanent relationships, it’s now obvious single moms dating should be on your calendar this year. So much upside and very little downside.
How to date single moms the right way.
(i) The kind of single moms you should avoid.
- Those with more than 2 young kids.
- The jobless mom.
- The one were the kids’ father(s) doesn’t provide any child care.
No matter how rewarding certain things are, approaching them from the extremes is never a wise move. Its true single moms dating can provide value when it comes to relationships but that doesn’t mean all of mothers will.
The mom with more than 2 young kids will always be pulled into the lives of her kids, leaving her with little to no time to spend with you. That is even manageable compared to the fact that you might be required to chip in too when she needs help especially in times of emergency.
We need to be realistic here, the jobless mom has to eat, sleep and get a few basic needs for herself. If she doesn’t have a job, someone eventually has to chip in to save the day. And who else than the sweet loving guy she started dating recently. And trust me, if it’s not you doing the helping out, someone else is. Do the math.
The jobless mom doesn’t differ so much from the one where the kids’ dad doesn’t provide any child care. Someone always – has to act Good Samaritan. Seriously?
(ii) A few rules you should follow.
Like in any arrangement where you don’t want to be bogged down into conflicts and arguments in future, you need a few rules of thumb. This will depend on your circumstances and what you’re willing take on once you start dating single moms. I hope these few rules act as the starting point.
- Consider how much drama you’re willing to take on. It’s inevitable – you know, as long as they’re kids involved.
- What do you want out of the interaction? Is having some good sex your goal or curving out a potential relationship? If it’s sex, you might not mind how many kids she has. But if it’s a relationship, the number of kids definitely matters. Think along those lines.
- If it’s a relationship, how much of your financial and time resources are you willing to give up in due course? Because obviously there’s something you’re going to sacrifice since the arrangement is not about only the two of you.
Those three should get the ball rolling. Find what you can’t accept in your arrangement. Examine what you’re willing to give up. And go from there.
(iii) The secret genius of “honesty.”
Most of these single moms expected so much from their exes. At the time when they started their relationships, heaven is what they expected. But not only were they denied of it, they were lied to over and over again. With experience they’ve learned to hate liars and dishonest fellows.
You rather tell her that you only want to sleep with her instead of making her assume you’re willing to give her everything she’s ever dreamt of. Try to be as honest as possible.
Of course there will be exceptions to this. You will meet someone who still prefers to be lied to instead of hearing the truth. When you find such a person, adjust accordingly. But if there’s a rule of thumb you want to use, it’s this. Always err on the side of being honest.
(iv) Where to find single moms ready for dating.
- Online dating.
Taking your search to the internet has a lot of pros. In the first place, there’re quite a number of sites were women make it clear in their profiles that they’re single moms looking to do some dating of their own. A behemoth like match.com makes it super easy to hook up with single moms open to dating.
- At your local Gym.
What I like about the gym most is the flexibility it offers. Not only are you supposed go to a gym to meet women but also work out hence being in a better physical shape. It’s killing two birds with one stone. A gym stands out for mostly one reason; you don’t have to force your way into contacting anyone. It mostly happens naturally. As long as you’re in the same environment with a woman, the communication between you two will be established eventually.
- Speed dating parties.
During speed dating, you have 9 minutes or less to impress someone. These can be fun especially if you keep your expectations in check and try having as much fun as possible. Because there’s normally less dating pressure involved, single moms tend to frequent them a lot.
Ask around in your city and find out the dates for a few speed dating parties. Google can be your best friend here. Just search for “speed dating” + “your city” + “current month of the year”. Check to see what venues and time schedules work for you. And you’re done. You should take care though, someone not impressing you in 9 minutes doesn’t mean that she’s bad for you. It’s a game of awareness you know.
- Parks in the neighborhood.
Parks are gold mines. It’s the single moms we’re talking about here. From time to time they’ll have their kids around parks to either play or hang out with other kids. To give you a heads up; most of them come to meet cool guys too. So, take advantage of that.
The fact that it’s in your neighborhood works in your advantage. Single moms in parks will be more receptive of strangers as their pretty sure everyone is from the surrounding areas.
Pro tip: Don’t be aggressive with your approach in the beginning as you’ll have more chances in future to interact with the same woman. This will come in handy especially when dealing with women who have trust issues.
- Grocery store.
I guess you’ve been waiting for this one to pop up. It only makes sense really. Few men ever take time to go and buy groceries. At least they don’t enjoy it. Which leaves us with only women. Go get your girl.
Btw, the greatest ice breaker in the grocery store is asking for a woman’s opinion as regards a few stuff you want to buy. That never fails to make a mark.
Naturally people like it if you ask for their opinion regarding something they’re supposed to be good at (even if they’re not). Now you know.
- Local pubs/cafes.
Everyone goes out once in a while especially if she’s someone looking to meet a man in her life. Pubs and cafes are great as they don’t make it overly direct that someone has come to pick up men. Visit your local pub or café and see the magic happen.
Take caution though. Women are very defensive in such places since most men in them are in pick-up mode. You don’t want to be overly assertive or aggressive. Make it casual. Have fun and watch her melt.
- Hobby clubs.
Naturally we’re tribal beings. We gravitate towards people who are more or less like us. Come in hobby clubs. Whether you’re interested in learning salsa dancing, playing a guitar or public speaking. Name it. There will be somewhere around your city were like-minded people gather every day or week or month to keep in touch. You can’t miss out on these.
There’s nothing as easy as picking up a woman who is already receptive to whatever you say (since you have something in common).
It doesn’t matter if you’re really interested in a hobby or not (though being interested helps a lot. You don’t want your life to be centered on picking up women. It should be a side benefit.) Shoot two birds with one stone by learning more about something you want while getting incredible women too.
Though you’ll have to stay away from some single moms, others will be gems you’ll be happy to discover. Do everything we’ve talked about and see what happens. Let 2017 be the year you test single moms dating. The rewards might surprise you.
Talk to you soon,