You’re so mean and incapable of loving anyone. I hate you so much right now, she said. This is the last time am talking to you. Please don’t ever bother me again. Consider me dead to you. That’s what the love of my life at the time told me. She had allegedly, got all the evidence she needed to confirm that I was cheating on her with so many girls.
This was the gazillion-th time she confronted me about my indiscretions. But this time was different. She was DONE. You could see it in her facial expressions and feel it in her voice. She was hurting so much that tears almost came out of me. What have I done this time? I said to myself.
For the moment I thought she was leaving me. Worst of all I felt like there was nothing I could do to change that. She handed me a photo of both of us and told me to keep it. “I can’t keep this one. It will arouse so much feelings in me. I can’t afford that now.” She said.
And then she left. Or did she?
Not so fast. First I realized the bullshit I was telling myself was just that – Bullshit thoughts. I had to do something. “Angel… Angel please don’t go.” I said, barely able to talk. You can’t do this to me. Please hear me out.
She stopped and came back. I admitted to cheating on her but never to all the girls she accused me of. Huh I had her attention. Slowly, she stepped back.
Pro tip: When you’re accused of something that is true. NEVER completely deny the whole thing. Admit to half of the crime. Then your repentance is taken more seriously. And it’s believable to the other person.
It wasn’t easy but I managed to convince her that in spite of cheating on her (on different occasions), I was still her boy. And she believed me. Make no mistake though, she wasn’t a fool. She believed me because I meant what I said. And she saw that.
She still left only to return two hours later, with chocolate. Not only had she forgiven me but she also bought me chocolate. Like nothing had happened. And not only did she buy me chocolate but she also fucked my brains out that night.
It was a day for the history books, trust me.
If you closely observe my story with Angel, one thing stands out. She loved me to the dot. She loved me in spite of my shortcomings. So, how do you know whether your girl loves you too?
- Has your back irrespective of what you’ve done.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a criminal. Or a bad boy. Or a nobody. What you have done. What you will do in future. Have no effect on how she feels. All she knows is that she loves you. If you kill someone, she helps you hide the body from the police.
If you steal from someone, she might be mad at you. But she’ll make sure you’re not found out. Let’s just say. To her, what you do and who you’re, are completely different things.
It’s not that she is not hurt by what you do. She’s is. Just that it doesn’t change how she really feels. Period.
- She’ll love the people who care about you and hate those who hate you – unconditionally.
That’s right. Unconditionally. To her, once someone else cares about you, this person is invited into this virtual religion of hers. And in a religion, you take care of your own. You rescue them when they’re in trouble. Her view of the people who love you will be so glossy to the extent that they will seem to be the most righteous people in your social circle.
But that’s because she’s biased. And her love for you is the source.
When it comes to those who hate you. Huh we’ve got a problem. She will come up with all reasons to verify the fact that they’re the most terrible human beings alive. She might hate them much more than you do yourself. It’s ugly I tell you.
Actually she’ll love those you love too. And still hate those you hate too. See, the person who said love is blind was right. I don’t know what happens in our heads when we’re in love. But whatever is happening is damn powerful.
- Genuinely listens to whatever you have to say.
Listening is a virtue. It’s one of those things that are so essential to our well-being as humans yet few people practice it. Each one of us has so much happening in our lives that we need someone to talk to. Someone to genuinely listen. But few people take their time to listen.
That’s why it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the people who do, are those that care about you. Deeply. A woman who loves you will listen to you, no matter what she wants to say too.
She will want to know about your achievements and shortcomings. Such that she either celebrates with you or cheer you up respectively. And to effectively do that, she will have to attentively listen to whatever you have to say.
- She’ll be happy for you if you’re happy even when she’s a victim of your happiness.
I watched a movie a month or so ago. It was more of two movies in one really. “The second movie” was about an old man telling the female protagonist of the “first movie” about his love life during his youth.
To spare you from all the useless details; He was so in love with a woman who loved her so much too. They had an amazing relationship. But then the man got enrolled into the army. During war, he got shot only to later realize he couldn’t impregnate his woman anymore.
At first the woman stood by him. And they got married. But as time went on she crumbled. Her motherly instincts overwhelmed her love for the husband. She begged him to let her leave. This is where it got interesting.
The man not only let her go. But he told her he would be happy no matter what, as long as she was happy. “Go get a child. Get everything you want out of life. You deserve it.” He said. He truly wanted her to be happy even if she had dumped him. The whole moment when the woman was leaving was magical even though heartbreaking.
Good news is the woman later came back to him. She couldn’t live without him.
Reverse the situation and you get what am talking about. When she loves you, sometimes she’ll be willing to let you go with another woman – wholeheartedly. She really can’t help it. As long as you’re happy.
- She’ll want you and only you to be the father of her children.
As we’ve seen from the above story, women have this aching desire to have kids. It can drive them away from their loved ones, if they either can’t have or don’t want kids. That’s how intense and deeply primal it can be.
Imagine who qualifies first when she’s thinking of a man to give kids. Of course the man she loves. The only reasons she might want to get you kids when she doesn’t love you are status and wealthy. Status and wealthy symbolize your ability to take care of her kids.
If you tick off those two, then maybe she wants to have kids with you because she really loves you.
- Forgives you for anything you’ve done.
Yap. It doesn’t matter the size of what you’ve done. It doesn’t matter if it’s ethically or morally wrong. Her feelings don’t care about that. All she knows is that she loves.
Taking it to the next level, she won’t only forgive you for whatever you do but she might actually go on to defend you from other people. Friends or relatives for example. It’s fun when a woman loves you. I tell you.
So go ahead and mess her up. And she’ll forgive you (after she has messed up your face too).
Bonus. Cries a lot whenever you have heated arguments and gives you chocolate when there resolved.
When she loves you, having a heated argument is the last thing in the world she wants right now. She tries as much as possible to play it cool even when an argument was necessary.
But let’s say, you go overboard with your nagging and an argument ensues. What will happen? Well, I don’t know. But I can guess. She will try to make you understand her point of view. And when she fails to change your mind, she’ll cry. And cry more. Until she can’t stop crying.
She’ll probably hide in the kitchen or bedroom. Then you’ll head there and come her down. And things will get back to normal.
For the work well done, she might give you some chocolate (after a few slaps).
There many ways people express their love for someone. But the theme remains the same, people in love are always selfless.
Not only are they selfless, they can even act in ways against their own happiness. If you want to verify whether she loves you, get out of your skin and watch her behavior. You’ll learn a lot about her feelings.
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Related: Qualities of a Great Boyfriend