I stopped breathing for about six seconds. I struggled opening the door.
I remember my hands fidgeting inside the trouser pockets tracing the keys. What’s happening to me? I wondered. But one of the most intense days of my life was only getting started. It was around nine o’clock in the morning.
About 11 weeks ago, I arrived at my workplace, all energized to take on the day. I was in the mood to make some money. But this day was like no other. For about two years, the compartment next to mine had never had any stable tenant. Within six months whoever rented it at the time got fed up of the low business activity and left. And so like the many before them, Abataka lands – a real estate company focused majorly on land – became my newest neighbor.
But they had occupied the office space a couple of weeks before this fateful day.
Before becoming my neighbors, they were renting on the same building. And I knew most of them, at least by face. On this particular March morning, they had employed someone new overnight. Priscillar.
As I tried opening my door, in my side view, I noticed there was a new face I had never seen before. I postponed the door opening. And here she was; probably the most beautiful woman I had seen in a long time. That would have been fine hadn’t my eyes landed on her eyes. I honestly don’t know why but for whatever reason, some eyes just connect with mine in ways I can never tell. It doesn’t happen very often but when it does, hell breaks loose. And this was one of those very few moments.
Prissy – as I prefer calling her nowadays – had angelic eyes. Slightly dreamy, slightly shy and amazingly beautiful. And I think there’s so much in her eyes on a cellular level that made me go bonkers but I’ve not figured it out yet. I tried to avoid looking at her but I wasn’t strong enough. Every once in a while I would steal a gaze, only to be left amazed and bewildered.
“Looking at you is refreshing,” I once told her after she asked me why I never stopped looking at her. And it was the truth.
But before we get there, I never talked to her that day. Even if I badly wanted to.
That night, only one person occupied my mind – Priscillar. Even if I hadn’t asked her name yet. In the morning, she was still the only person on my head. That’s when I realized the girl I was seeing at the time – an amazing human being in her own right btw – was in trouble.
The next morning the first thing I did was talk to Priscillar. And talking is what we did on the regular basis over the following weeks. And guess what I discovered. She might have been as beautiful as heaven but her facial beauty was an even smaller picture compared to her mind. She is so smart she sometimes scares me.
Fast forward to today, and she’s still the first person on my mind in the morning and the last on the same mind at night. Was it love at first sight? I have no idea.
Love at first sight – The 9th wonder of the world.
Love at first sight. Sounds like a cliché. But is it? Is there such a thing as falling in love with a woman the very first time you see her. And if so, how do you know that it’s not just fascination, a passing obsession or just mere lust. And still, how in the world do you tell the difference between all of these.
The more time I spend on this earth the more I realize that things are not always what they seem – when you look deeper. And there’s less uniformity about human behavior when it comes to things as complex as love and sex. And that before you dismiss anything just because it’s not the case for you, think twice. Because in most cases it’s not that something doesn’t work on you, it’s just that it hasn’t yet worked on you.
See, the human brain is a universe on its own. And by the time you get to the human mind, you’re facing a multi-verse. In simple terms, when it comes to your mind, anything – under the right circumstances – is fair game. If you think you can never be attracted to a loser, in most cases it’s because you’ve not met the right kind of loser. If you think some races are out of your league, just wait till the right person comes around.
And for that I believe love at first sight is possible. But what influences it? How in the world would any rational human being fall in love with a person he/she knows so little about?
The mystery of Biology.
With humility, let’s admit this once and for all. We know so much and so little about the workings of our bodies. And for our brains? – don’t even get me started.
Yet we walk around every day like we have everything figured out. Like there’s nothing to discover anymore. That’s until we’re reminded that we have no idea how consciousness is generated by the brain. Until we remember how ignorant we’re about what love is and how it is produced inside the brain.
The thing is, the brain has a lot of secrets to the extent that it is officially the most mysterious and complex creation in the observable universe.
Having said that, don’t you think that there’s surely a huge possibility that you can fall in love with someone hands down without ever knowing anything about them? After seeing this person, don’t you think – at a biological level– that things get messed up inside the brain to the point of simply falling in love. I really don’t know. But I’ve seen it happen to many people over and over again.
Take Priscillar as an example. Whenever I look into her eyes, something is set off inside my brain. At that very moment, I feel like hugging her and telling her so many things about how I feel. In that particular instance, she becomes a goddess to me. There is nothing as beautiful and lovable as this female homosapien. The world stops. The sun becomes brighter. And the planets scream her name. Priscillar… Prissy…. Pr…. And I fall in love again.
How does it happen, I don’t know. And the last time I checked, not a single scientist had any idea.
The influence of our childhood.
Biology might be incredible at influencing our decision-making. But boy, is the environment right there in close second.
Biology randomly dictates the genes we get from both our parents. And then the environment decides which genes to switch on or off depending on what it deems important. And this switching on and off happens mostly during the first five to seven years after birth.
And the trails left by the environment can be seen in any individual way into adulthood. Someone brought up by ruthless and careless parents will be easily recognized from someone whose parents offered unconditional love. And so on.
This influence of the environment – with a lot of complexity – dictates the people we’re attracted to. It directs the friendships we make. It pushes us to live more comfortably in some places and not others.
Indeed, people whose opposite sex parents were rude and cruel tend to be attracted to people of similar traits without really knowing why. People who were pampered when young always want partners who are willing to do the pampering.
No wonder we fall in love at first sight.
For reasons beyond our rational insight, some switch is triggered inside the brain by this one person. And a cascade of events happen in the process. By the time we’re aware of anything, all we feel is love for this person. Truly Hilarious!!
So, have you fallen in love at first sight? And how was the whole process for you. But if you’ve not. Just relax. As long as you’re still alive, anything is possible.
As for Prissy, their company too succumbed to the bad luck of my neighboring compartment. They now operate from a neighboring town.
But the most important thing happened – we met. She’s still too stubborn but I think I’ll crack her defenses with time. And eventually – I hope, we can create something beautiful. And who knows, maybe I’ll update you in the process.