Arnold (not real name) was to meet a mystery girl one Friday night. They had met on a business workshop a couple of weeks back. Even though I didn’t know how she looked like, at least I knew what she wanted most from my friend. Sex. Mind blowing sex. And they had discussed it all week – the sex. The resolution had been the same at the end of every one of their conversations, via whatsapp – they were to fuck the shit out of each other.
Before long, it was Friday. And Arnold was about to have a blast. “You’ll tell me everything about this girl. You won’t leave anything out.” I told him. And waited.
On Saturday I didn’t hear from Arnold. It’s understandable, he must be tired. But I got a little bothered when he didn’t reach out on Sunday too. I reached out on Monday. But he ignored me at first. After a little persistence, he finally replied.
“I messed up man. She was disappointed with me.” He said. That was not enough, I needed more details. Give me more, I said. He instead sent me the sms he received from the chic the morning after their uneventful night; “I really ddt wnt to say this bt u just can’t let go. D reason am quiet is bcoz u really disappointed me yesterday. I thought u were a lion, bt u turned out 2 be a sheep. U completely failed to roar.”
Now I knew why the poor guy wasn’t in the moods to say anything. On his behalf, I felt small too. So, I wondered. How in the world would I have helped my friend? Better yet – now that the past was in the past – how could I help him prevent something similar from happening in the future?
Of course the answer to that was always going to be complex. But at least I would pick out a few major pointers for him to focus on. And one of them turned out to be Edging.
So, what is edging?
Imagine you have a date with the woman of your dreams. You arrive at the agreed place before she does. This is the day I’ve been waiting for, you say. After a few minutes of waiting, you become agitated. You send her a message telling her you’ve already arrived and that you’re waiting for her. “Give me 20 minutes I’ll be there” she replies. The 20 minutes come and go. Nothing.
Now you’re becoming restless. Is she flaking? Am I being taken for a ride? Is she busy attending to another guy? You wonder. No, let me send her another message. “So Sorry. But I’ll be with you shortly.” She replies. You decide to continue waiting but nothing. Maybe I should leave, you conclude. But not so fast. Probably another message. The last one I swear. “If you can’t make it, maybe tell me.” Before long you send a third one. “Forget it. I’m gone.” You wait but not even a single reply comes your way. I guess I’ve been made a fool of, you say. Like anyone tired of feeling frustrated, you stand to leave.
But not so fast.
Through the door, comes this gorgeous brunette woman. Clad in a short red dress holding a white handbag. She oozes class. She’s the epitome of sexy. Every man in the room looks at her like she’s Cleopatra reincarnated. But not every man will get to spend time with this woman. The only man to get that opportunity – on this fateful day – is YOU. She has finally come, you mummer to yourself.
She sees you over at the table already smitten. And she comes over. You offer her a seat, half-aware half unaware. Before you get the courage to say a thing, she says; “I’m sorry for not making it in time. But I was finalizing my meeting with the other guy I told you about.” Which guy, you ask. “The guy to help you get the other construction gig you planned to bid on.” Oooh, I remember. “What did he say, any good news?” “Actually, yes. He said he’s going to help you. And I’m going to give you all his contacts. He promised everything will be okay.”
You gasp with joy. You can’t believe it. You’ve been short on money the past couple of months. And here you’re. Being rescued by the same woman you only wanted a nice date with. The woman of your dreams. Only that she’s threatening to be the best thing to ever have happened to you.
And she’s not done. At least not tonight.
“I was wondering if we can celebrate this success from somewhere else. Perhaps a place with more privacy.” She says, after a couple of deep conversations. You can’t believe it.
The next morning comes and you recall that last night you had the most intense and exciting sex of your life. With the most amazing woman in the world. Boy oh boy!!
Now. The anticipation you experienced. Then the frustration. Followed by the hope and then the anger. Then – finally – sweet…sweet pleasure. Both emotional pleasure (seeing her when you were almost leaving. And then the good news about a possible financial goldmine.) And physical pleasure (great sex). THAT’S EDGING. From a worldly point of view.
Immediate pleasure (her coming on time) is postponed countless times for more intense pleasure.
Edging in sex only differs in duration and a few other things. But the overall psychology involved is similar to what you just experienced. Immediate orgasms are foregone in order to achieve a stronger orgasm.
How to do edging the right way
First of all, your goal here is pleasure. You want to give your partner pleasure. But not just any pleasure. Mind blowing, nerve wrecking, brain damaging (okay maybe on that far but you get the point) pleasure. And like achieving anything great is concerned, you’ll have to delay gratification. Both for you and for her.
Edging is like a dormant volcano. The pressure and tension build up slowly by slowly. Until it can’t be sustained anymore. It’s the same issue with great pleasure. You don’t want her to cum at the first act of stimulation. You want to buckle down a bit when she’s almost cumming. And then stimulate her again. Buckle down when she’s almost there. Do it again. At the third attempt, let her release all this built up tension. And she’ll have experienced firsthand the magic of edging. She’ll thank you for it.
The context and timing have to be right though. There will be situations when your partner is highly stimulated. In instances like when she’s ovulating or for some reason she’s really horny. You don’t want to do edging. Since she’ll be already at the edge. In such circumstances she’ll be ready to go multiple times.
Edging is especially important when she wasn’t gasping at the idea of sex. When her sexual moods were low or average to begin with. That’s when edging comes in to the rescue. And honestly these times will be more frequent than when she’s so horny.
It’s easy for anyone to take a first step. But to take the second and the third and on and on. That’s hard. The bottom line is; to stand out you need to do the kind of things not everyone has the balls to do. And when it comes to sex, edging is one of those things because it requires delaying gratification. It takes having faith that the final orgasm will be worth it. And you’ll feel better about yourself in the process. What are you waiting for, go get ‘em.