Meet Enock and Flo. Enock is a 23-year-old guy who has dated older women for a few years now. Flo is his latest conquest. How old is she? 41 years old. The day I got to know these two, I had paid a visit to a friend of mine who has a repair shop in town. Enock had a saloon on the same building while Flo had a boutique. That’s how they met each other. On my visiting day, things were not going well between the two. I found them almost cutting each other’s throats out.
Flo, a mother of two daughters with her eldest being 14, accused Enock of seeing girl after girl thinking that she wouldn’t find out about it. Enock fired back; “What do you expect from me?” he asked, “It’s you who is married not me.” This got Flo so mad that within minutes Enock was reeling from a couple of slaps. “So what if am married?” she said, “You’ve always known that it’s you I love, why do you use my marriage as a scapegoat to cheat on me?”
This went on and on. Accusation after accusation. Realizing that the man she loved was hell-bent on making her “suffer”, she broke the laptops, the mirrors and everything breakable in the guy’s salon. You should have seen it. During all this time my friend was unpacking their story for me bit by bit such that I got to know how the scenes I was seeing came to be. “I feel sorry for the poor guy,” I told him “his business is gone now.” Simon laughed, “Bullshit, she’ll have bought everything back by tomorrow morning. What you’re seeing is commonplace for those two. They fight and makeup again. That’s their way of being. We’re no longer amused anymore”
Moments after Simon told me that, they were hugging like nothing had happened. They bought a couple of beers before locking themselves inside the salon. Next thing we heard was the woman moaning in pleasure like she was having sex for the first time. Remember, because they had caused a fracas, many people had surrounded the place. But they didn’t care who was around and who was not. 15 minutes later, they got out, locked the place and went home. I guess this married woman didn’t go back home that night to the boring bed of her husband.
Older women are the real deal.
Meet a guy like Enock who has dated older women and he’ll list quality after quality of the older women he’s dated. But why should you date older women?
- They’re much more comfortable with their bodies.
If you’re like most guys, the sex aspect is always on the front of why you want to date any particular girl. The problem is that you focus on the wrong kind of girls if your goal is to have blissful sex. It’s true that young girls have fresher bodies compared to older women.
But the latter are far more comfortable with their bodies than the former. They have the years under their belts needed to master the sexual nature of their female bodies. This makes them incredibly superb when performing in bed. Older women know what is pleasurable to them. They tell you were to touch to make them go mad in bed.
Let’s just say, dating older women amplifies your sex life to levels unheard of.
- To them, sex is the beginning not an end.
If you’ve dated enough young girls before (depending on their culture), you must have realized how much they make sex the pinnacle of everything. To most of them, sex is the sweetener that keeps you around. Nothing more.
But if someone thinks like that, it means she has nothing else to offer besides sex. That would have been fine if the world was made of only sex but unfortunately it isn’t. To make matters worse, the sex they consider so highly is maddeningly mediocre. But dating older women saves you from that.
- Older women are much more realistic.
Being extremely unrealistic is the other drawback of young women. You can’t blame them though. For most people, to take a grip on reality takes many years down the road. Meaning by the time they’ve stopped seeing things as black and white, they’re already older.
So, if you’re tired of women who expect you to own a mansion at 25. If you’re tired of girls who expect you to vacation on a yacht in Monaco at 24, then older women are your best option. They’ve been there, done that. They now see it for what it is – unreal.
- For the most part, they don’t need your money though you might need theirs.
Accumulating money and assets is what they’ve been doing for all those decades on earth. When she wants you in her life, even for a short stint, it’s rarely because of money. But to provide her with the kind of things money can’t buy.
She’s old now, with a boring husband. She wants you to make her feel young again. She wants you to make her do things that would be considered “weird for her age” by the outside world. On the other hand, if you happen to truly rock her world, then she might be forced to spend some of her money on you. Just like Enock found out from Flo.
- Instead of teaching, you do the learning which prepares you for future.
Let’s be honest. Young girls have succulent boobs, busty bums and bodies of goddesses. But like anyone young, what they know about the world is lacking in significant ways. They mostly see things from the window of conventional wisdom. Theirs is a black and white view of the world – which is fiction. This means if you really like her a lot, you’ll need to teach her a great deal of things. Teaching is fun sometimes but there’s nothing you’re adding to your own mental game.
Yet there’s so little to teach an older woman, she’s older than you by far. She’s been around for some time. There’s nothing new you’re going to teach her about the world. Instead, you’ll be doing most of the learning. Which is a good thing as your view of the world needs improvement too.
- You can freely date other girls without guilt.
Once in a while, you’ll date a married woman. This can be a blessing in disguise if you’re the kind who feels terrible cheating on someone you care about. Because she’s already married, you don’t have to feel guilty in case you cheat on her with other women.
And to be honest, she’s cheating on her husband too. Why in the world shouldn’t you see other girls? Sounds fair to me.
Dating older women the right way – a how to.
If you’re now convinced of dating older women, this is the right way to do it.
- First things first – have you dated before?
You don’t want to try dating older women if you’ve not even tried dating the younger ones. Trust me, it will freak you out. It’s better to first learn how to drive a bicycle than going after a motor bike the first time around. There’s nothing wrong with it, but there’s a confidence you need to build up overtime.
It’s true you can pull off dating an older woman without necessarily dating younger ones but your mind will most probably freak out.
If you haven’t dated your peers before, no worries, first get that section covered. This will help you build momentum which you’ll need big time.
- Find out where they hangout.
If the case above doesn’t apply to you, then here we go. It’s paramount to find out which places they frequent. You want to have a variety of options in your arsenal.
Try inquiring from friends where you can find these women in your local area. In most cases, you won’t find them in places where young girls frequent. And also, they’ll normally hangout in places that are slightly expensive. Why? because they can afford such places.
The other place is on the internet. Ashleymadison.com is a dating site full of men and women who want to secretly cheat on their spouses. You should take caution though, most dating sites inflate the numbers of their female members. In most cases, they use fake profiles.
- Use the bias of first impressions.
By using a cognitive bias known as confirmation bias, most people overestimate the intelligence, looks and trustworthiness of the strangers they meet based on the first appearances. Don’t be a sucker for first appearances but it’s okay to take advantage of them.
Dress to kill. Groom yourself to the maximum. Impress those old girls to the extent that they’ll create an illusory story about who you’re. Don’t mind whether this story is true or not. Always err on the side of them imagining all the good things about you.
- Don’t appear needy even if you’re broke.
Someone who said you should avoid negative people the way you avoid a plague was a wise fellow. No one wants someone who always wants help from them. It doesn’t matter if your target woman is rich or not, needy people are sickening.
These women have enough problems in need of their attention to add-on your problems. This doesn’t mean you won’t get help from her once the relationship is set up; it means you can’t risk her thinking that – at this time of the interaction. Give her the impression of “you’ve got most basic needs covered”
With time, after getting to know you more, she’ll soften up and that’s when she’ll give you whatever you want even if she thought she couldn’t at first.
- Confident “young fish” are sexy.
That’s right. It’s the jargon she mostly uses when talking to her friends about young lads like you. She does want young fish, but not another child to take care of. She needs a man. She needs someone to make her feel things a woman should feel.
Be confident in your endeavors. Don’t ask for permission to say or do anything you want to. Do anything you want to and apologize later if it’s necessary. That’s sexy. Overwhelm her with your youth and confidence. She’ll look at a guy with a youthful body but with a mind of a senior citizen. That combination is insanely sexy.
- Use the illusion of youth and fun to your advantage.
The reason most older people (both men and women) want to date younger ones is to feel excited again. With age comes routines and boredom. They want to eliminate that.
Use that fantasy to your advantage. Insinuate things to come if she dates you. Give her a glimpse of the kind of things you do in your day-to-day life (it’s okay if you lie to her, you’re not looking for your future wife). Women are fascinated by musicians, or guys who know how to play musical instruments. They’re fascinated by carefree guys. In simple terms, anything that seems out of the ordinary.
Use the illusion of youthfulness and adventure to your advantage as that’s what they’re looking for.
- The power of listening to another human being.
Listening seems to be an easy thing to do but you can be astonished at the number of people who don’t listen. Naturally, we’re wired to talk about our lives and problems. We want to have an audience – such that people get to know our story.
You don’t want to be the person doing the talking. Let her be that person. In most cases, her husband, friends and family don’t listen to her. Yet like you and me, she needs someone to understand her side, to genuinely listen to her. Not to solve her problems, to only listen. Become that guy. For a moment, talk less and listen more. Don’t worry, the more fascinated by you she gets, in future, she’ll want to know your side of the story. It’s only natural.
- The promise of leaving her marriage intact.
Most women want to have a few rendezvous with young men. But they don’t because of the fear of wrecking their marriages. They love their husbands and especially their kids. People have reputations to keep. They don’t want to risk that. Most young people are reckless and risk takers (though attractive at times) – which scares these kind of women.
But if you can present yourself as the kind of guy who won’t mess up her current life because you’ve supposedly “fallen in love”, then you’ve just greatly improved your chances of dating older women. If you seem like a responsible guy, not the “young and impulsive type”, you’re the real deal.
- The unfair powers of mystery and unpredictability.
Mystery and unpredictability applies to young girls as much as it applies to older women. Life is boring enough to live your life in the presence of a guy whose life is filled with routines and habits. Don’t be that guy. Don’t be predictable.
At one point, imply to her that you’re not seeing anyone else only for her to see you with someone else. Just like Enoch did. Today you seem like the most romantic guy in the world only to become cold a couple of days from that.
Pro tip: Never make it obvious that you intended any of these things. You want things to seem random, uncertain, unintended. That’s sexy. As humans, whether men or women, we don’t focus our mental energies on what we know, we think about things we’re not sure about. Don’t become someone she’s sure about. Today behave like an altar boy, tomorrow act like a rascal. Now you’re meeting her dreams – even though she doesn’t know it yet. But take caution, don’t overdo it
Like anything worthy in life, don’t expect things to tick there and then. In fact, you might not succeed on your first, second, third and fourth tries. But with time, you’ll pull it off. Dating older women will become easier. I wish you luck.
Have you dated any older woman before? How did it go? So you know, I read all comments.