Famous women have this mythical presence surrounding them. The images portrayed to the public are so perfect, sometimes you wonder whether these people are as human as you and me. Everything about someone famous is so fascinating, mysterious and classy. Falling in love with them is inevitable for most of us. But can we do something about it? Is dating a famous woman even possible?
What I learnt from Rihanna.
In 2012, Oprah Winfrey hosted pop star Rihanna on her OWN Network to talk about among other things her love life. At the time they were rumors that she was hooking up again with his famous ex-boyfriend Chris Brown. And so Oprah couldn’t help herself but ask her what was going on, as many people were wondering. I don’t remember the actual details but in case you missed out, people were wondering because Brown had assaulted Rihanna in that famous incident in 2009. He battered her so badly that he had to be punished with community service by courts of law.
Fast forward to three years and here was Rihanna, being asked by Oprah whether it was true that she was hooking up with Brown again. “No we’re not dating or something like that,” She said, “We only hang out every now and then – the way friends do.” This kind of shocked Oprah. Brown had badly beaten Rihanna not many years ago. How is it that they were friends? Why were they still hanging out together?
Rihanna said even though Brown was dating someone else at the time (Karrueche Tran) and she wasn’t, they were still in touch, trying to amend their “friendship”. You know Oprah, she probed her on and on until she became emotional. She told her everything. From how Brown was her best friend and love of her life. She said she was hurt so much in 2009 when people instead of helping Brown (because he had a mental problem), they instead attacked him ruthlessly. It was intense. You could see a woman in love. A woman whose background as a child influenced every bit of the decisions she made in her adult life. A human being who was as vulnerable to life and circumstances as you and me. It was eye-opening.
Those famous people out there are just like you and me with only one difference – fame. But they get emotional, they worry, they have fears, they want to meet a man of their dreams. Everything you feel and need out of life, they feel and need as well.
Which brings me to the next question. Is it possible to date a famous person? Absolutely. Are the odds in my favor? Not at all, many guys are gunning for her too (or not). Then, how do I defy the odds? Keep reading…
Step 1. Information Gathering.
Let’s admit the more information you have about something – anything, the better your decision-making process. From upcoming job interviews to upcoming sports games for gambling to dating that hot girl. The more information you have, the more confident you feel. And the less anxious about the task ahead. And it’s the same approach we’re going to use here.
The good thing with famous people is that most things about them is open for anyone to know. They are famous for a reason. Unlike your local girl, finding out anything about a famous woman might turn out to be simpler.
-Get the necessary Information about her relationship status.
It’s imperative that you know what her relationship status is. Because if she’s a Beyoncé in a happy relationship with Jay-z then you have a problem. But if she’s someone with no serious relationships, then it can be easier. She parties more. She’s more available in public places. Needless to say, she’s more receptive to dating someone. So, find out her stand and plan accordingly.
-Find out who her friends are.
Most famous people are not close friends because of their respective big egos. And that’s a good thing – for you. A good number of her friends won’t probably be as famous as she is – which simplifies your work.
The reason you want to get to know some of her friends is simple. Friends have a lot of valuable personal information about someone. The kind you can’t find on any public platform. They know what she wants, which most people don’t. You want to get close to them any way you can. Besides, birds of the same feathers usually flock together. If you can map their mental aptitude, now you have a starter model on how your target thinks.
Some women are very vocal on social media and so are their friends. In most cases if you can look in between the lines on their social media postings, you will get a feel about who is close to them and who is just a fan. So, social media should be a great information gathering platform.
You want to look for interviews too. The good thing about interviews is; people have a tendency of getting personal in them. They will normally list or talk about the people close in their lives – that’s where friends come out in handy too. Also use the interviews to gather any other useful information you might need in future.
-Identify her favorite places.
Because sooner or later you’ll have to establish physical contact, it only makes sense that you find out her favorite places. Trust me, if she normally goes to a certain place to happen or have fun, then chances are high that she’ll do it again in future. Ours is a species of habits. Habits don’t change overnight.
From her social media postings to the interviews we talked about earlier, you can easily get this information. Visit these places once in a while and see what happens there. It’s even best if you time when she’s also there. You might even find out things you couldn’t anticipate before. For example she might be more open to meeting and talking to people than you had anticipated.
-Find out everything you can about her likes and dislikes.
Naturally we have a soft spot for people who know so much about us. It even gets better if we find them attractive. Most people are always in their heads. So, to find someone who took his/her time to find out everything they could about you, is super sexy.
But Nic, famous people are used to people knowing a lot about them? Yes that’s true – but to a certain extent. People know the things everyone can easily find out. You don’t want to be like everyone. Go deeper. Find out the kind of things people wouldn’t easily notice. Read in between the lines and see what others are not seeing. Then go use that to your advantage.
Step 2. Analyzing her personality.
With all that you know now, how can you efficiently use it to get your girl?
-Find out the private person in her.
By knowing who she hangs out with, you get to know much more about her private life most of the general public doesn’t know about. By knowing the places she normally hangs out in, you’re streamlining her tastes and preferences. If this sounds like detective work, it’s because it mostly is. Getting an advantage takes focus and hard work.
By mapping her mental landscape, you will come up with a strategy tailor-made for her. This will greatly improve your chances of success.
-Decide on the version of you, you want to bring out.
When you badly want to date someone, sometimes – just sometimes, the normal version of you won’t cut. You might need to adjust where need dictates. Personally am not an advocate of putting on shows to get girls but who am I to judge. Do whatever you want if it’s what it takes.
For example some women are famous but so broke. And so they try, for the most part, to use their fame to get out this stinking poverty. She might want to date rich men to help her with that. Meaning, even if you’re not rich, appearing rich might be one of your strategies to get to her. It’s not unfair to that. It’s just the world we live in.
Step 3. Making the Approach.
-Focus on less crowded places for your first approach.
The more people are in an area, the more attention she’ll be getting from them. You don’t want this. Not only is it hard for her to focus on one person but also uncomfortable for her to give any genuine attention to anyone.
Less crowded places are what you need. In most cases they’ll be expensive as it’s what weeds out most people. Because she’s meeting you in such an area, her first impression of you will be slightly heightened. Introduce yourself as her fan. Tell her about something she’s done before that caught your attention. The more charitable, the better. People love being seen as selfless.
Better yet, insinuate that if all goes well, you two might partner up on some project. You want her to get a feeling that she might get something more from you. After all, you’re not any other fan.
Here’s what I’ve not yet said; this whole process won’t be a walk in the park. There will be tension, anxiety, fear and all those wicked emotions we’re always trying to stay away from in our lives. But it’s okay. Keep moving.
-Don’t over respect her – she’s used to it.
She’s famous for God’s sake, everyone is always kissing her a** most of the time. She’s fade-up of it. Don’t be like those people. You want to give her this impression of “If only you got to know me earlier.” Women want to desire as much as they like being desired.
A famous person gets desired much more than necessary. You want to help her balance the desirability equation. Imply that you respect her but more respect will be earned only if you get to know her better. You’re challenging her to show you more. To assure you that she’s more than a well prepared public image.
This is how you deal with people who get a lot of attention. Famous or not. Make them work for your approval. They will accept the challenge as their not used to guys like you.
-Focus on the person not the public image.
During your conversation, stay away from the stuff anyone knows except the charitable stuff or kids if she has some.
You want to make it clear you want to know the other person most people don’t hear about more often. The kind that gets mad when her friends don’t fulfill their promises. The person who gets lonely at night when no one close to them understands the pressure that comes with fame.
Find that person. She’ll be there lurking in the background and she’ll be glad you found her. Public images are fictional. Private images are real. Stay away from the public.
-Offer something unique to get her attention.
Every person on earth has something they want but not getting. Find something unique you could do for her that even her fame couldn’t get her. You’ll figure it out after you’ve talked for quite some time. Maybe it’s a personal problem or something she just can’t seem to eliminate out her life.
Not only will you make a mark in her life but you’ll also stand out from other people who only want something from her. Always giving and giving without receiving is suffocating. You don’t want to suffocate her, do you?
You don’t want to be as direct as letting her know how much you jerk off at night because of her. No, not that direct. Not even telling her how much you want to date her. No, don’t say it directly.
This is the direct I mean; Insinuate that if she turns out to be as good as everyone thinks she is, you two might end up places. Show her that you like her but you need to be convinced that dating her is a good idea.
One thing that should be a constant though is “enough flirting”.
Step 4. Seeing her again.
Because it’s so rare that she’ll give you her contacts there and then, come up with some excuse for you two to meet again. If she’s a musician for example, tell her your niece’s birthday is a couple of weeks from then and it would be nice if she was present.
Or maybe she’s a writer; ask for an opportunity to read her upcoming book before anyone else among the general public. Come up with something. If you’ve done enough listening, you won’t be short of ideas.
Give her a reason to see you next time. And she’ll respond if she likes you. And also be attentive to her being proactive. She might invite you to some dinner or something. Be attentive.
-A date is inevitable.
Not long after that first meeting, you two will have a date. I know and you should know, that possible competitors are inevitable but if you follow everything we’ve talked about, you will come out on top.
Remember, the top can be lonely for these famous people. At times we assume that they’re having it all yet it’s far from having it all. So, it might not be as hard as you think. Keep your mind flexible.
The truth is, dating can be an uncertain business. Don’t expect to get things right there and then. Actually don’t approach a famous woman before hoarding some experience dating other women. You need the experience to have the confidence. It doesn’t mean it will be so easy. No, far from it, but it will be easier. Tell me how it works out in case you approach one…
What other tips do you think would be great for dating a famous woman? Talk to me on Twitter.